The Hazards in Child-Naming
My daughter’s name is Brittany Spears, a choice for which—one day I hope— she will forgive me. How’s one to know what names will ring in peoples’ ears in future years? No prophet, I. I asked for it, I guess—James Bond lived in my hometown, grumpy as you might expect, from questions on martini choice and British cars. So did Fred Sanford, who sold Olds- mobiles and Chevrolets. Had cards made up—"No junk on this lot!" Barbara Eden was divorced, worked at Delchamps grocery, had a son my sister’s age who hated all the genie jokes. Brittany goes to college soon. I wonder if she’ll claim her name her own, or if she’ll take the chance to make a break from stardom not her own, claim life undefined by the tabloids’ curiosity. Or maybe she’ll just hope the star will fade, and leave her name, weathered and worn, ready for another. Brian Spears is the Poetry Editor of The Rumpus (www.therumpus.net) and his first book of poems, A Witness In Exile, will be published in 2010 by Louisiana Literature Press. He was a Stegner Fellow from 2003-2005 and currently teaches in the English department of Florida Atlantic University.
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